Education and Purpose

Check out this video of Sir Ken Robinson talking about education, creativity, and purpose driven lives.


http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/sir_ken_robinson_bring_on_the_revolution.html

Talent as an Incubator of Strengths

            Recently, on a long car trip, my wife and I were discussing the role of talents in relation to strengths. Stefanie was wondering how one might be able to use talents as a way to further develop our characteristic strengths. In our conversation she hit on an important concept that I call the Incubator Effect. This idea explains how we can use our areas of talent as a launching pad for our strengths.

Think of your areas of talent as Petri dishes where you can cultivate your strengths. Your areas of talent are familiar and comfortable, they are areas where you may feel more inclined to take risks. Remember how as a child you only choose to do those events on field day that you knew you had a chance to win a ribbon in? Well, adults are not that much different. We all tend to inhabit the areas of our lives where we have the greatest amount of talent and thus ease. These are areas where you can begin to experiment with you strengths.

In other words, once we have identified a particular area of talent and feel comfortable working in that domain, we can then use that space as a greenhouse for growing our strengths. 

For example I have a relative that plays in a very prestigious orchestra. She has great natural talent in music and has honed her ability to play the violin over many years. She looks right at home on stage and continues to improve year after year in her area of talent. She also has the character trait of being compassionate. By day as a History teacher her strength of compassion translates into reaching students and helping them understand important historical concepts.

The question is: How can she use her area of talent to help cultivate even further her strength of compassion. The obvious answer is: combine both areas. Teach a music class and use the comfort area of talent as a place to increase her strengths. But, there is another way to look at this.

Rather than combining two areas of her life, music and teaching, she can use her time at the orchestra as a place where she can find ways to cultivate compassion. There are many ways that this may be possible and it all depends on what each person can come up with. For instance, while rehearsing my relative might be able to show compassion to other members of the orchestra by making a goal to listen empathetically to two people per session.

Or, she may decide to study the composer’s life whose music she will be performing searching for ways to make and feel a compassionate connection with him or her. In addition she might decide to invite someone to the performance as an act of kindness and as an expression of compassion.

The possibilities of this type of exercise are only limited by our imaginations. The point, of course is to find ways in which we can grow our strengths while operating in the comfort of our talents. In this way not only will we be more comfortable with taking the necessary risks to achieve greater mastery of our strengths, but we will also be able to practice and better our talents.

            

A Recap on Happiness

I would feel remiss if I did not reiterate what happiness is. While I have discussed the outline for happiness and what it is not, I think that more clarification is needed. Previously I have described happiness as the pursuit of meaning accompanied by virtuous pleasure. As I have demonstrated, popular belief is that happiness is the exact opposite. Hollywood and the media often argue implicitly and explicitly that happiness is nothing more than the pursuit of hedonistic pleasure in its plethora of variations.

Thus the common idea of happiness is envisioned as having a life with the least amount of pain, the least amount of troubles, the most pleasure, and the most material possessions. While all of these things can be nice up to a point, we all know, deep down that they do not produce long lasting or fulfilling experiences of happiness. In other words we can often confuse pleasure with happiness.

As I have mentioned, I am not advocating for asceticism, the complete withdrawal form the world and its sensual pleasures, rather I am arguing that lasting happiness is achieved through finding meaning and purpose in life. Purpose is living our lives in accordance with our callings and values.

This means that we can be happy even when we don’t feel pleasure. We can be sick, poor, stressed or sad and still be happy. Yes, even sad. If we have purpose we can still be happy in the hard and easy times. Happiness is not an emotional state. Happiness is a state of purpose that transcends the physical and spills over into the spiritual.

The pleasure that we experience from practicing a meaningful and purposeful life leads to the ultimate expression of happiness; joy. Joy is the product of meaning.

True happiness is not selfish. Many of the happiness experts are implicitly asking us to be selfish. While I agree with the principle that we cannot serve water from an empty well, we must not turn so inward as to miss the chance for selfless happiness.

If our life’s purpose is not aligned with something bigger than ourselves, we are unlikely to achieve happiness or joy.

Developing Talents?

Though it may be wise to spend the bulk of our time growing our strengths, I still believe that we can and should develop our talents to the best of our abilities. We should see our talents as gifts to be used in as many areas of our lives as possible. Though I agree with much of the advice given surrounding focusing on our strengths, I do not believe that we should enhance our strengths at the expense of ignoring our talents. Our talents can lead us to new and fulfilling paths in our lives.

The problem with talent is that it takes time to develop. Even though we may have a knack at a something it still takes work to change it into a true source of pride. Take the painter Cezanne for instance. Cezanne struggled to keep afloat as a painter for years and only began to be recognized for his work later in life. Malcolm Gladwell (2009) writes in his essay on “Late Bloomers” that “The paintings [Cezanne] created in his mid-sixties were valued fifteen times as highly as the painting he created as a young man”(p.299). Cezanne, it appears, required time and practice to hone his art.

Gladwell (2008) described the process of becoming expert at something as a long and arduous journey. Gladwell describes this process as the 10,000-hour rule. Through citing various studies, Gladwell demonstrates that in order to become an expert in something it takes roughly 10,000 hours of practice. 10,000 hours is a long time and comes out to about ten years of work. In short, it takes about ten years before you can expect to become expert an expert in any given field.

Of course this often does not apply to geniuses or savants. People who right out of the gate have an extraordinary talent. These people are the Mozarts of the world. Those individuals that compose symphonies by the time they are out of grade school. Yet the 10,000 hour rule does apply to the rest of us. Because this idea applies to the great majority of us, it may be useful to remember not to give up easily at things that we have talent for, but are not yet great at.

I remember one teacher I had in 8^th grade who handed back my class assignment of poetry. At the bottom of the page in small neat letters it read: “Ted, you have some natural talent in poetry that could be developed.” Interestingly, my 8^th grade teacher seemed to recognize what Gladwell is talking about. I had natural talent, something that I did not work for, but was only a small bit of talent, a small bit that I would have to choose to work at to enhance. After years of practice, I remember the day that I finally published a poem. It was a great feeling, but a feeling that came with the price tag of 10,000 hours.

Natural talent is a gift from our maker. We should strive to multiply our talents by remembering that it will take time and effort. We should try to not push our talents aside, but embrace them. Though talents may not be as malleable as strengths they are never the less enhance-able and should not be ignored in favor of purely focusing on our strengths.

References

Gladwell, Malcolm (2009). What the Dog Saw.

Gladwell, Malcolm (2008). The Tipping Point.

Lindstrom, Martin (2008). Buy-ology

What about Talent?

As a High School Senior I was voted “the most talented.” This of course was not so much of a nod to my many accomplishments, but rather an acknowledgment that I had become very adept at being mediocre in many areas.

Though I was never stellar in many of my High School pursuits some people are. They have great talents in areas like sports, music, or in a particular academic field. I have a cousin, for example, who is very talented in playing the guitar. His fingers move across the strings in a magnificent way. While watching Roger play, he makes it look effortless and graceful, almost easy.

While my cousin Roger, certainly has natural talent in music, he also has spent the time to develop his talents. As mentioned before, talents are those abilities that are inborn, that cannot be changed a lot, nor can they be created if there is no underlying talent in a particular area. In other words if I do not have any talent in drawing I will be hard pressed to become a good artist no matter how long or hard I try. Strengths on the other hand are highly learnable character traits, such as courage, and can be greatly enhanced. I may have a trait for being temperate yet still have a drinking problem. Thankfully I can learn to employ my strength in temperance in order to overcome my weakness in drinking. Strengths in short have the potential to be grown from a 1 all the way to a 100.

Strengths are where most positive psychologists and experts on self-development argue that we should spend our time. The argument is clear: why waste your time trying to be something that just does not align with your talents when you could develop your strengths which can be used in a wide variety of situations. A good case in point for this view is found in the book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath (2007). The book is a treatise on why we should focus on our strengths and how to find out what are strengths are. Discussing the ramifications of focusing on strengths Buckingham relates the familiar story of Rudy.

Rudy of course is Rudy Ruettiger who in the early 1970’s walked onto the University of Notre Dame football team. Rudy was small and really lacked a lot of athletic talent (5’ 6” 165lbs). Yet for years Rudy practiced hard and was essentially the other player’s practice dummy. As many of us know from the inspirational film by the same name, Rudy was able to play in the last game of the season. Rudy played a total of two plays and recorded a sack on his last play. He was carried off the field by his teammates to the cheers of the crowd.

Rudy is inspirational. Rudy had a large basket of character strengths like persistence, optimism, and tenacity that allowed him to reach his goal of playing collegiate football. This is a great achievement, but we have to ask if all of Rudy’s efforts really were worth the outcome. Certainly, the inspiration of his story is of great value, but what really is the message? The message, when we strip away the emotional impact of the story is: if you work really hard, even if you don’t have a lot of talent for something, you might be able to play two plays and make one tackle for you whole career.

This seems to be a little misguided. It reminds me of a story I heard about a blind boy who dreamed of being a pilot. His parents, operating under the old adage “you can be anything that you want to be” encouraged him to study flying. Unfortunately, today’s technology does not allow for a blind person to become a pilot. The boy became dismayed when this became clear and fell into depression. The truth is we cannot become what ever we want to be. We can only become what God has endowed us to be. This endowment is reflected in our strengths and talents.

Rudy is a great example of how strengths can help us overcome a lack of talent in an area, but it also shows us that it may be more useful to use our strengths in areas where we have talent. Imagine if Rudy had used his strengths to focus on a goal where he had a good amount of natural talent. What if Rudy had natural talent in sculpting and used his strengths of persistence and tenacity to work in that area? We may never know what Rudy could have done if he had decided to work towards something for which he possessed great natural ability, but we do not have to live after the old adages of the past.

What I am driving at of course is that we should figure out where our natural talent lies and then use our strengths to enhance it. This does not always work though. We may have a talent in something that will never make us a living, but none-the-less we love. We may have a great talent in water skiing, but this may not translate to a career. On the other hand we may be able to sell boating equipment that is associated with our talent. Or we may just employ our talent in one area of our lives, outside of work. In short we can find ways to exercise our talents even if they do not coincide with our work lives or our personal life calling, but we should seek ways to use our strengths in areas of personal talent in order to achieve optimal life satisfaction.

References

Rath, Tom (2007). Strengths Finder 2.0. The Gallup Organization; Gallup Press

The Passion, Strength, Market Demand System

            Recently a friend of mine who has been trying to carve out his calling in life asked me “I know what I love to do, I have taken the strengths test, but I don’t understand how to put it together. How do you put this stuff into practice?” In reality, this is the hardest part of the whole process.

            So far we have asked ourselves questions about what we love to do, what kind of work we loose ourselves in, began uncovering our malleable strengths, and started crafting a personal mission statement. Yet, the hard question remains “How do we put the overarching and general ideas embodied in our mission statements into practical application?”

            Tan Ben-Shahar (2007) suggests that we take a look at what gives us meaning, what gives us pleasure, and what are strengths are in unison in order to arrive at useful conclusions about our life’s work (p. 103-104). Ben-Shahar uses a venn diagram consisting of three circles to organize this way of thinking. The first circle represents those things through which you find meaning. Hence, in the first circle you might write: teaching, being with loved ones, singing, etc. The second circle represents those things that give you pleasure. In this circle you could write: singing to music, helping others, or exercising. Last, the third circle represents your strengths. In this circle you would write things like: creativity in music, wisdom, relating to others, etc.

            After filing in the circles, the next step is to put them together and see if there is an overlap. See below for an example.

In this example you can see that the overlapping areas are in singing, music, and creativity. While this exercise is helpful, it has a serious flaw. What if my overlapping areas are singing, music, and creativity? How many jobs are there, that are in need of these skills? Certainly, you can find ways to make this model work and by working through it you may discover your life’s work.

Unfortunately, I believe that we need to consider the reality of market demand. In other words, as mentioned above, there is not a big market demand for singers, or basketball players for that matter. Thus, I propose that we would do better to examine our passions, strengths, and market demand in unison. Like Ben-Shahar’s model my model is conceptualized in a venn diagram, but this time the circles are as follows.

The first circle represents your passions. Not sexual passions or your passion for food, but those things that we have previously described as activities you do for their own sake. Your passions are those few things that produce “flow.” They are the junction of meaning and pleasure, because meaning and pleasure proceed forth from passion.

Strengths are represented in the next circle. Again, strengths are character traits. They can be increased and developed and can be applied in a wide variety of situations. These might include such things as Seligman’s love of learning, curiosity, spirituality, etc. or your own variations.

Last, and most boringly, market demand. This is a hard question to answer and will require a little research. To begin you may want to look at what industries are predicted to grow over the next few years. Here is a link to one website that may be of help in this area: http://www.acinet.org/indview1.asp?nodeid=45

After pursuing industries drill down deeper and see what jobs within these industries fit with your passions and strengths.

Finally, go ahead and check online classifieds to get an idea of what each job pays. Of course, I am not saying that what a job pays is super important, on the contrary I think you should reduce your lifestyle and work a job you love, rather than settle for money, but you do need to go into this process with your eyes open.

            When you reach this point you are ready to put it together. Make a venn diagram like to one below that shows the overlap of your passions, strengths, and the market demand for jobs that fit with the former.

This may take several attempts and will not be an easy process, but don’t give up. As you move through this process, keep your life mission or calling statement handy. Use this as a guide. If the area of work you end up with does not align with your mission, start over, and if necessary ask for help from a trusted friend or spouse.

References

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.  

Life Planning Part 2

“Look, if you can indulge in your passion, life will be far more interesting than if you're just working. You'll work harder at it, and you'll know more about it. But first you must go out and educate yourself on whatever it is that you've decided to do - know more about kitesurfing than anyone else. That's where the work comes in. But if you're doing things you're passionate about, that will come naturally.”

- Richard Branson           

Gary Buslik was a successful businessman. Having built a profitable security company that paid him $500, 000 a year; most people would just ride the wave into shore and retirement. Still, Gary had a nagging dream.

As an undergraduate Buslik had studied literature graduating with a degree in English. His parents told him he would never be able to make a living with that degree so he went into business. But, Gary “wasn’t happy.”  After many years as an entrepreneur Gary sold his business and entered a PhD program in English at The University of Illinois at Chicago. Today, living modestly off the proceeds of the sale of his company and small teaching salary, Buslik spends his days as a college lecturer and writer and says “I have never regretted my decision” (Money Magazine, May 2010, p.44).

In essence, Gary Buslik had rediscovered his life calling. A calling that had been delayed because of the seduction of false materialistic happiness. He had found what he loved to do, not what would make him rich. This is one of the hardest things to accept about finding your calling: that it might not make you wealthy. In many cases doing what we love does result in material rewards, but only as a by-product of following our dreams.

I hope like, Gary, you have at least begun to uncover your own personal mission. Sometimes this is a difficult process. As I have mentioned before, the activities that produce flow are indicative of our callings. The joy and gratification of well-suited work help us to know that we are on the right track of finding or living in accordance with our inner passions. These passions that reveal our life’s work are often rooted in our strengths.

Our strengths help us to know what we would excel at and very often are the same things that we love to do in the first place. This seems obvious but we do not always live by what is obvious. Before I explain how we might find our personal strengths it is important to understand the difference between strengths and talents.

It is common to use the two terms, talents or strengths, interchangeably, but there is a subtle difference. According to Martin Seligman (2002) talents are those special abilities that we are born with, and that cannot be improved much. Talents are such things as beauty or perfect pitch. Talents are not a result of effort, but of genetic happenstance. This of course does not make talents any less real or powerful, natural talent in speaking for instance can be a valuable asset (p. 134-6). Still, talents are to a great degree limited to improvement.

Further, talents are not moralistic in nature. Having good pitch or a great singing voice is neither good or bad, it just is. While talents can be used for good or ill, they do not intrinsically posses any moral value. Hence we hear stories of wasted talent with disgust, not because the talent was good or bad in and of its self, but that the individual wasted the application of it. In other words, it is only the application of talent that becomes morally loaded (Ben-Shahar, 2007)

Strengths on the other hand are character traits. These traits such as “love of learning” are learned and enhance able. The idea is that all of us have predispositions to possessing various strengths, but that the realization of these strengths depends on our decision to: 1. Recognize our strengths and 2. Develop them (Seligman, 2002, p. 136-7).

The first part of the task, recognizing our strengths is very important to making sure that our perceived calling and mission are outcrops of them. We must make certain that or zeal for a certain calling is not derailed by our lack of strengths paramount to successfully following it. Thus, as we craft our mission statement we also have to examine them in context of our strengths first, and later our talents.

For example, it does us no good to uncover a perceived calling of being an NBA basketball player if we do not have the strength of self-control through temperance, nor the talent of exceptional athletic ability. While the crux of our life callings lie in the exercise of both our strengths and talents, it is more useful to focus on the strengths because they are malleable.

  Thanks to Martin Seligman we have a simple tool that we can use to help us discover our strengths, as they are not as apparent as or talents. Seligman has developed a psychological survey that helps people discover what areas they should spend time developing. This survey is located at: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

You do have to create a user name and password and your info will be compiled for research, but this is the best tool for assessing your strengths out there and it is free. Under the “Engagement Questionnaire” section take the “VIA Survey of Character Strengths.”

            After taking the survey it will show you your top strengths with a brief explanation of each. Read through your strengths carefully and ask yourself if these strengths are inline with the mission and calling that you have been carving out. For example, my number one strength is “love of learning.” This strength is concordant with my mission to “Be a teacher and a learner.” As you read through your strengths adjust your mission statement accordingly and maybe ask a friend to review it to see if you are being true to yourself.

References

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Money Magazine. May 2010

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press. 

Life Planning and Our Calling

In the Japanese culture everyone is expected to have a life purpose, something that drives ones life towards happiness and fulfillment. In Japanese the word that embodies the idea of “life calling” is “ikigai” (ee-ki-guy). “Ikigai” is the thing that wakes you up in the morning, that which gives your life meaning; it is “your reason for being”. The Japanese believe that everyone has an “ikigai” and that it is important to find ones life meaning through careful reflection.

I believe that one of the most important steps toward living a happier life is finding our own personal “life mission.” As I have mentioned previously, when we are engaged in activities that are intrinsically motivated, ie done for their own sake, we experience “flow” and “gratification.” Because flow and gratification are part and parcel of achieving lasting happiness, it follows that our life callings should be something that produces these feelings and states. I for example, experience high levels of flow and gratification when I write, learn, and teach. Thus, some of my possible callings are: to teach, be a writer, a blogger etc. Yet the question of how to arrive at these conclusions is more involved than I am making it out to be. Thus, I suggest, “life planning” as a means to discover and re-discover our callings, aspirations, and dreams.

Life Planning

The two most mortally dangerous times in our lives are near infancy and right after we retire (TED talk: Dan Buettner). It is easy to understand infant mortality, there are many developing countries where nutrition and prenatal care are not available, and there are complications with pregnancy and development, but why is it that at retirement mortality increases? One very real explanation is the loss of purpose. We humans need purpose and many times when we retire we loose a large part of our life’s meaning. James O’Toole (2005) notes that Americans are obsessed with financial planning for retirement, and although this is necessary, as many baby boomers find themselves bored on the golf course or in front of the TV, it is becoming increasingly obvious that “we need to engage in robust life planning”(p. xiii). While O’Toole (2005) especially suggests this type of planning for the middle aged, I suggest it for every age.

While your calling will indeed extend into all areas of your life, by in large the type of work you choose will determine whether or not you live your life’s mission. Like it our not, all of us spend large amounts of time at work. It is the nature of modern society; we have to work to eat. The real trick is whether or not we can do as scholar Hugh Nibley (1989) suggests; eat to work (p.8). In other words, we have to find those things or thing that we do despite: money, fame, or accolades. We have to find what we love to do. Steve Jobs illustrates this point very well. After starting Apple and being fired from his own company, Jobs rebounded to make the company even more successful. In speaking to graduating Stanford seniors he recounts the wisdom he gained from the experience:

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. (Jobs, Stanford, 2005).

I concur with Jobs. We cannot settle. Interestingly, Jobs makes the connection of finding our passion in work with finding our passion in relationships. My wife Stefanie added to this insight reminding me that we spend enormous amounts of effort to find the “right person” to marry. Yet, we often do not approach our work choices in that way even though a quarter to a half of our waking lives is spent working (Csikszentmihalyi, 1997, p.10).

Thus, to find our callings I suggest taking the Japanese’s lead. We need to ask our selves tough questions and answer those questions through careful self-examination. To find our purpose, life calling, or mission we first have to examine those things that produce flow and gratification. Ask yourself the following questions: What am I doing when I “loose track of time”? When do I feel challenged at work and play? Take a few minutes to write down your responses. Also, it may be valuable to ask a trusted friend or spouse to answer these questions for you, but with out revealing you their answers until after you have written yours.

Next, imagine you did not have to worry about money. What would you do with your life? Considering that you have decided that the pursuit of material hedonism is no way to live, what types of work and activities would you engage in on a daily basis? Again, write these answers down.

Last, we can use a test devised by Aristotle thousands of years ago. It is called the deathbed test. Aristotle used this concept to test the morality of activities, but it can be used to help you and I find our callings. Imagine that it is some time in the distant future, and you find yourself watching your own funeral. As the large group of people grows quiet, you see a speaker preparing to give your eulogy... What would you want them to say about you? What would you want to be remembered for? What would they say of your family life? Your work life? Your spiritual life? As completely as you can respond to these tough questions.

As you begin to answer these questions you might see patterns emerging. You may learn from your deathbed test that your family is so important to you that you need to choose work that allows for time with them. In addition you may realize that you want to be remembered as a caring or wise person. Ask your self how the legacy you want to leave behind can fit with your work life and personal calling.

With a list of both things you want to be remembered for and activities that you find gratification in, you are ready to start crafting your own personal mission statement. A personal mission statement is a short compelling description of your calling; it can be short or long. My own personal mission statement reads: “Be a teacher and a learner. Help others to be better, to live life more fully, and to enjoy life now.” Your mission statement may be longer or shorter, but it should describe your calling in general terms. In organizational settings mission statements help convey what an organization is all about. Part of Coca Cola’s mission statement says, “To refresh the world... To inspire moments of optimism and happiness... To create value and make a difference.” In essence a mission statement tells the reader why an organization or individual exists.

The more time you put into this process, the more you will get out of it. Also, do not worry if it takes several drafts, this is normal. In addition don’t be concerned about this being “set in stone.” My mission statement has changed various times through many iterations, but each one has brought me closer to what really wakes me up in the morning--- my “ikigai”.

References:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life. Basic Books.

Jobs, Steve. Stanford University 2005. http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Ikigai (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai).

Nibley, Hugh (1989). Work We Must, but the Lunch is Free in Approaching Zion. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book. 

Our Calling

            In the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (1993) the young protagonist, Santiago is in search of his life’s calling. In the book the term “personal legend” is used, but it denotes the same meaning as “calling.” While on his journey in search of his calling, Santiago meets King Melchizedek who explains what a personal legend is in these words:

It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish.  Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend. (Coelho, 1993, p. 22)

This passage brings to mind the profound words uttered by Pablo Picasso, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up” (Pablo Picasso (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/pablo_picasso.html).

            There are several important ideas expressed in these two quotations. First, that all of us have innate talents and strengths (I will discuss the distinction later) and that by following the paths that allow us to use our talents and strengths we can find our calling. In essence I am arguing that our “yearnings” and “clarity” as described in the first quote are manifest in our talents and strengths. Thus, if we can identify those things that we always dreamed of doing and then correspond these with our talents and strengths, we can then uncover our achievable “personal legends.” In this way our talents and strengths are indicators of a deeper and more personal life calling.

            Next is the insight that Picasso provides. Certainly, we all were in one way or another artists. This is not to say that we all wanted to be painters and the like, but that as one of my professors at BYU use to say “we all were creative until the world beat it out of us.” The “mysterious” something that Coelho mentions is the weight and pressure of the world, with its subsequent ephemeral brand of happiness. You see, the “ways of the world” tell us that being an “artist, teacher, entrepreneur, etc” are either “not real jobs where you can make money and be happy” or “too impossible to accomplish.” The forces of hedonism and materialism tell us that we must work and live to get more in order to be happy. When we buy into this worldview we often abandon or never fully discover our life’s callings.

            Hence, Coelho (1992) writes through the character Melchizedek, “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them” (p. 130). In large part I believe that the fear that keeps us from defining and following our callings resides in two factors: First is our own self-doubt and fear of personal greatness. Along these lines Marianne Williamson (1992) writes:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Second is the unacknowledged reality that we have bought into hedonism’s enticing lie of material happiness. This is often reflected in our choice of profession and way of life. We have to ask ourselves “Why do I live in the way I do? Why do I work where I work?” While some of us work and live the way we do out of necessity, many of us live and work the way we do in order to get more stuff, prestige, or money. In other words we have abandoned our callings or never even tried to uncover them because we are caught on the hedonic treadmill busy getting and getting but never happy.

            But how do we uncover our strengths, talents, and life callings? Does, this mean quitting your job, and taking a year to “find yourself?” No.

             One of the best ways I have found to discover your life’s calling, is though developing a personal strategic life plan. Most successful organizations use a strategic planning process to come up with vision statements, mission statements, and supporting values. This type of process allows organizations to gain clarity on their direction, purpose, and operational principles.

            Similarly, a strategic life plan can help us sort out what kinds of work, life goals, and other activities can contribute to our happiness. First, we have to uncover our personal visions. I use the word “uncover” because I believe that all of us have a calling even if we do not know it. It is part of us; it is a driving force that if lived by will create conditions ripe for satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness.

References

Coelho, Paulo (1993). The Alchemist. NY, NY: HarperCollins.

Freidman, Stewart (2008). Total Leadership: be a better leader, have a richer life. Boston: Harvard Business Press.

Williamson, Marianne (1992). A Return to Love: reflections on the principles of a course in miracles. Harpercollins. 

Meaning and Gratification

Pleasure is part of happiness and learning how to increase our pleasurable experiences can aid in living a good life. Still, pleasure should be viewed as the pepper of life. It is the stuff that enhances an already meaningful existence.

By experience most of us already know this: sex without love becomes empty, wonderful food without company is mediocre, and material wealth without the ability to share it or use it for good leads to hollowness. Interestingly, though we all can think of examples of people who have lead miserable lives in the pursuit of the pleasurable and material, we still look to the icons of fame as models for our own lives. This is not a new problem.

Aristotle, one of the most important contributors to understanding happiness faced similar problems thousands of years ago. James O’Toole (2005) in his book Creating the Good Life illustrates the parallels between our society and that of Aristotle’s. “In Aristotle’s society, the accepted models of success included generals, Olympic champions, plutocrats, potentates, and powerful politicians as, today, modern media spotlight sports and entertainment figures, business moguls, and powerful politicians” (p. 56).

It is hard not to marvel at glamour and riches, but maybe we should measure life success not by toys and tantalizing treats, but by the “ultimate currency” --happiness (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p.53). In other words, maybe as we gaze in wonder at the lives on the tv screen, we should ask: “How happy are these people? What is the result of their life paths?” Not surprisingly, this line of questioning can open our eyes to the disastrous consequences of hedonism.

Hedonism is living for pleasure. It is the pursuit to tantalize the senses as much as possible and as often as possible. As mentioned before, this sole mission to experience pleasure leaves much to be desired; yet what more is there? The answer to this question lies in the quest for meaning and gratification.

Gratification and meaning are very similar to each other, though they differ greatly from pleasure (Seligman, 2002, p.111 & Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 37). Aristotle called gratification “eudaimonia.” “Eudaimonia” is the “good life,” it is total engagement with life; it is the things we do for their own sake. Seligman (2002) explains that “eudaimonia” or gratification “can only be had by activity consonant with noble purpose”(p.112). In other words “eudaimonia,” in Aristotle’s notion is engaging in activities that are “intrinsically meaningful,” absorbing, and aimed at a higher purpose (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 40).

We all have experienced the feeling of gratification or “eudaimonia.” This experience is often described by athletes, or even yourself at work, as “being in the zone.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1997) has described this sense of “being in the zone,” as “flow”(p.28-9). Csikszentmihalyi (1997) describes the phenomenon in this way:

Because of the total demand on psychic energy, a person in flow is completely focused. There is no space in consciousness for distracting thoughts, irrelevant feelings. Self-consciousness disappears, yet one feels stronger than usual. The sense of time is distorted: hours seem to pass by in minutes. When a person’s entire being is stretched in the full functioning of the body and mind, whatever one does becomes worth doing for its own sake, living becomes it’s own justification. (p.31-32)

Therefore, “flow” is characterized by the absence of the sense of self, time, and emotion. Also, it is achieved by extreme focus and total engagement in an activity.

Though flow is necessary for achieving gratification, once again by itself it does not create gratification. For example, while on the basketball court I have often experienced flow. The sense that time stopped, that my playing became automatic and amplified beyond my own abilities. While this was somewhat gratifying it was not a fully gratifying experience because the purpose or meaning I derive from playing ball is limited.

In order to achieve higher levels of gratification we must not only be fully engaged in flow producing activities, but in flow producing activities that are laden with meaning. These meaningful experiences directed at something larger than ourselves create purpose. Ben-Shahar (2007) notes “To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that posses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society’s standards and expectations. When we do experience this sense of purpose, we often feel as though we have found our calling” (p.39). Thus, to achieve complete gratification we must engage in flow producing activities that are aligned with our own personally meaningful objectives or callings.

For instance, the person who finds flow in teaching others may find complete gratification in being a teacher if molding young minds, for example, is a purposeful calling. Moreover, an Olympic ice skater who finds flow in skating and training to skate may achieve gratification if they see there sport as a “higher calling” to inspire others and represent their country. In both cases the flow experience is in alignment with a higher purpose or calling. The higher purpose or calling being defined as something that contributes to changing the world at least in small ways as perceived by the individual. Therefore, finding flow and building those activities around a calling or a higher purpose results in gratification. 

References:

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life. Basic Books. 

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.

O’Toole, James (2005). Creating the good life: applying aristotle’s wisdom to find meaning and happiness. Holtzbrinck.

What is Happiness?

Pleasure

The media with all its daily noise tell us that happiness is one thing, when in our innermost hearts we know it is something quite different. Even though at some level we know that there is a better way to happiness we all often fall into the pitfalls of the latest fad, product, or chase.

           

Maybe you have experienced the let down from chasing something that you thought would make you happy? We all have. The question is not why we experience these let downs, but rather how to avoid them in the first place.

           

In Lewis Carrol’s psychedelic classic “Alice’s Adventures in Wonder Land” Alice reaches a fork in the road on her journey. Alice, not knowing which way to go asks the Chester Cat his advice. “Which road do I take?” He replies by asking, “Where do you want to go?” “I don't know,” Alice answered. To her angst the cat offers little help “Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.” Like Alice, we are all too often busy heading towards happiness without even having any ideas what it is.

           

The problem of course with figuring out what happiness consists of, is that it takes enormous effort to define. Fortunately we don’t have to start from scratch, both ancient and modern thinkers have been debating the definition of happiness since time immemorial. Many of the major philosophers and all of the major religions have made contributions to what we know about happiness. Though the idea of happiness is complex and often deeply personal, I believe there are common threads of wisdom that can be applied in our lives that can help us understand what happiness is and is not.

           

First, it may be useful to make the distinction between pleasure and gratification (Seligman, 2002, p.111). Pleasure is the domain of the senses, and we all know it when we experience it. It is the taste of cheesy pizza, the smell of sweet jasmine, the touch of a lover, or the sound of your favorite song on the radio. Pleasure is well pleasurable, but short-lived. It flickers in and out of our lives leaving us seeking for more. This is the “happiness” that popular culture parades before us on TV, the Internet, and in popular music. The message is clear, do what feels good now. Get more stuff, more sex, and more sensuous food.

           

Unfortunately, as we have all experienced, the next pleasure fix only staves off our hunger until the next object of our desires can be found. In this way we are like perpetual joggers on a treadmill, always being feed a carrot, but never able to arrive at full and true happiness. The Father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman (2002) describes this phenomenon, called the “hedonic treadmill” in this way: “As you accumulate more material possessions and accomplishments, your expectations rise. The deeds and things you worked so hard for no longer make you happy; you need to get something even better to boost your level of happiness” (p. 49). It is this cycle that by in large makes pleasure seeking a futile attempt at gaining lasting happiness.

           

To conclude this thought I would like to add that I am not saying that pleasure is inherently evil or wrong. It is not the case that pleasure itself is the culprit of chronic life dissatisfaction, but rather the excess seeking of pleasure. Pleasure becomes a problem when it is our end goal, when it is sought after as our main course in life’s feast.

Conversely, when pleasure is viewed as the “spice of life” it can enhance our daily experiences and allow us to more fully appreciate our own existence. In other words, pleasure is necessary for our happiness, but is not happiness in and of itself. Just as good spices are necessary for a good meal, pleasure is necessary for a happy life. Pleasure keeps us moving, enticing us towards true happiness, and aids in its creation if it does not become the principle ingredient in our banquet (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 42-43).  

References

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.

What does Happiness Applied Mean?

I once heard a story about an American who was spending some time in Czechoslovakia. After a few days of acclimating himself, he felt like going out on a walk to explore the little village where he was staying. Strolling down the street he saw an old woman hanging clothes out to dry. Being in a cheery mood, the man exclaimed in his best Czech, “Good morning! How are you today?” To his surprise, and at length, the women began to answer his very question. Unable to understand Czech the man watched as the women moved her arms up and down while changing the tone and volume of her voice. The man walked away puzzled, unable to understand what he had said that elicited such a long response.

As Americans, we of course ask, “How are you?” out of politeness, not because we actually care. This strange cultural phenomenon has led me to reflect upon whether we should be more concerned with the question, both for ourselves and others, of: “How we are doing?” In other words, I have often found myself perplexed at how to answer the simple question “How are you?” (I mean, if I really had to answer it.)


In essence that is what this blog is about. It is about asking ourselves how we are doing, and then finding ways to improve whatever the answer happens to be. Further, it is a blog about what happiness is, and how we all can achieve it in our everyday lives. It is an ongoing, and evolving experiment, in how to lead a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.


Happiness Applied is my attempt to help myself and others apply the principles of happiness. Chances are you already know these principles; they are simple things like: spirituality, gratitude, optimism, sociality... etc. The problem arises where the rubber meets the road, the space where “know-how” becomes “doing.” If you are like me you might have found it hard to find ways to put into practice the often-nebulous counsels of: be grateful, let go of stress, or be more positive. It is my hope that through this blog I might be able to find and share Happiness Applied.