In the Japanese culture everyone is expected to have a life purpose, something that drives ones life towards happiness and fulfillment. In Japanese the word that embodies the idea of “life calling” is “ikigai” (ee-ki-guy). “Ikigai” is the thing that wakes you up in the morning, that which gives your life meaning; it is “your reason for being”. The Japanese believe that everyone has an “ikigai” and that it is important to find ones life meaning through careful reflection.
I believe that one of the most important steps toward living a happier life is finding our own personal “life mission.” As I have mentioned previously, when we are engaged in activities that are intrinsically motivated, ie done for their own sake, we experience “flow” and “gratification.” Because flow and gratification are part and parcel of achieving lasting happiness, it follows that our life callings should be something that produces these feelings and states. I for example, experience high levels of flow and gratification when I write, learn, and teach. Thus, some of my possible callings are: to teach, be a writer, a blogger etc. Yet the question of how to arrive at these conclusions is more involved than I am making it out to be. Thus, I suggest, “life planning” as a means to discover and re-discover our callings, aspirations, and dreams.
Life Planning
The two most mortally dangerous times in our lives are near infancy and right after we retire (TED talk: Dan Buettner). It is easy to understand infant mortality, there are many developing countries where nutrition and prenatal care are not available, and there are complications with pregnancy and development, but why is it that at retirement mortality increases? One very real explanation is the loss of purpose. We humans need purpose and many times when we retire we loose a large part of our life’s meaning. James O’Toole (2005) notes that Americans are obsessed with financial planning for retirement, and although this is necessary, as many baby boomers find themselves bored on the golf course or in front of the TV, it is becoming increasingly obvious that “we need to engage in robust life planning”(p. xiii). While O’Toole (2005) especially suggests this type of planning for the middle aged, I suggest it for every age.
While your calling will indeed extend into all areas of your life, by in large the type of work you choose will determine whether or not you live your life’s mission. Like it our not, all of us spend large amounts of time at work. It is the nature of modern society; we have to work to eat. The real trick is whether or not we can do as scholar Hugh Nibley (1989) suggests; eat to work (p.8). In other words, we have to find those things or thing that we do despite: money, fame, or accolades. We have to find what we love to do. Steve Jobs illustrates this point very well. After starting Apple and being fired from his own company, Jobs rebounded to make the company even more successful. In speaking to graduating Stanford seniors he recounts the wisdom he gained from the experience:
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle. (Jobs, Stanford, 2005).
I concur with Jobs. We cannot settle. Interestingly, Jobs makes the connection of finding our passion in work with finding our passion in relationships. My wife Stefanie added to this insight reminding me that we spend enormous amounts of effort to find the “right person” to marry. Yet, we often do not approach our work choices in that way even though a quarter to a half of our waking lives is spent working (Csikszentmihalyi, 1997, p.10).
Thus, to find our callings I suggest taking the Japanese’s lead. We need to ask our selves tough questions and answer those questions through careful self-examination. To find our purpose, life calling, or mission we first have to examine those things that produce flow and gratification. Ask yourself the following questions: What am I doing when I “loose track of time”? When do I feel challenged at work and play? Take a few minutes to write down your responses. Also, it may be valuable to ask a trusted friend or spouse to answer these questions for you, but with out revealing you their answers until after you have written yours.
Next, imagine you did not have to worry about money. What would you do with your life? Considering that you have decided that the pursuit of material hedonism is no way to live, what types of work and activities would you engage in on a daily basis? Again, write these answers down.
Last, we can use a test devised by Aristotle thousands of years ago. It is called the deathbed test. Aristotle used this concept to test the morality of activities, but it can be used to help you and I find our callings. Imagine that it is some time in the distant future, and you find yourself watching your own funeral. As the large group of people grows quiet, you see a speaker preparing to give your eulogy... What would you want them to say about you? What would you want to be remembered for? What would they say of your family life? Your work life? Your spiritual life? As completely as you can respond to these tough questions.
As you begin to answer these questions you might see patterns emerging. You may learn from your deathbed test that your family is so important to you that you need to choose work that allows for time with them. In addition you may realize that you want to be remembered as a caring or wise person. Ask your self how the legacy you want to leave behind can fit with your work life and personal calling.
With a list of both things you want to be remembered for and activities that you find gratification in, you are ready to start crafting your own personal mission statement. A personal mission statement is a short compelling description of your calling; it can be short or long. My own personal mission statement reads: “Be a teacher and a learner. Help others to be better, to live life more fully, and to enjoy life now.” Your mission statement may be longer or shorter, but it should describe your calling in general terms. In organizational settings mission statements help convey what an organization is all about. Part of Coca Cola’s mission statement says, “To refresh the world... To inspire moments of optimism and happiness... To create value and make a difference.” In essence a mission statement tells the reader why an organization or individual exists.
The more time you put into this process, the more you will get out of it. Also, do not worry if it takes several drafts, this is normal. In addition don’t be concerned about this being “set in stone.” My mission statement has changed various times through many iterations, but each one has brought me closer to what really wakes me up in the morning--- my “ikigai”.
References:
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life. Basic Books.
Jobs, Steve. Stanford University 2005. http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html
Ikigai (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ikigai).
Nibley, Hugh (1989). Work We Must, but the Lunch is Free in Approaching Zion. Salt Lake City: Deseret Book.
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