What is Happiness?

Pleasure

The media with all its daily noise tell us that happiness is one thing, when in our innermost hearts we know it is something quite different. Even though at some level we know that there is a better way to happiness we all often fall into the pitfalls of the latest fad, product, or chase.

           

Maybe you have experienced the let down from chasing something that you thought would make you happy? We all have. The question is not why we experience these let downs, but rather how to avoid them in the first place.

           

In Lewis Carrol’s psychedelic classic “Alice’s Adventures in Wonder Land” Alice reaches a fork in the road on her journey. Alice, not knowing which way to go asks the Chester Cat his advice. “Which road do I take?” He replies by asking, “Where do you want to go?” “I don't know,” Alice answered. To her angst the cat offers little help “Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.” Like Alice, we are all too often busy heading towards happiness without even having any ideas what it is.

           

The problem of course with figuring out what happiness consists of, is that it takes enormous effort to define. Fortunately we don’t have to start from scratch, both ancient and modern thinkers have been debating the definition of happiness since time immemorial. Many of the major philosophers and all of the major religions have made contributions to what we know about happiness. Though the idea of happiness is complex and often deeply personal, I believe there are common threads of wisdom that can be applied in our lives that can help us understand what happiness is and is not.

           

First, it may be useful to make the distinction between pleasure and gratification (Seligman, 2002, p.111). Pleasure is the domain of the senses, and we all know it when we experience it. It is the taste of cheesy pizza, the smell of sweet jasmine, the touch of a lover, or the sound of your favorite song on the radio. Pleasure is well pleasurable, but short-lived. It flickers in and out of our lives leaving us seeking for more. This is the “happiness” that popular culture parades before us on TV, the Internet, and in popular music. The message is clear, do what feels good now. Get more stuff, more sex, and more sensuous food.

           

Unfortunately, as we have all experienced, the next pleasure fix only staves off our hunger until the next object of our desires can be found. In this way we are like perpetual joggers on a treadmill, always being feed a carrot, but never able to arrive at full and true happiness. The Father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman (2002) describes this phenomenon, called the “hedonic treadmill” in this way: “As you accumulate more material possessions and accomplishments, your expectations rise. The deeds and things you worked so hard for no longer make you happy; you need to get something even better to boost your level of happiness” (p. 49). It is this cycle that by in large makes pleasure seeking a futile attempt at gaining lasting happiness.

           

To conclude this thought I would like to add that I am not saying that pleasure is inherently evil or wrong. It is not the case that pleasure itself is the culprit of chronic life dissatisfaction, but rather the excess seeking of pleasure. Pleasure becomes a problem when it is our end goal, when it is sought after as our main course in life’s feast.

Conversely, when pleasure is viewed as the “spice of life” it can enhance our daily experiences and allow us to more fully appreciate our own existence. In other words, pleasure is necessary for our happiness, but is not happiness in and of itself. Just as good spices are necessary for a good meal, pleasure is necessary for a happy life. Pleasure keeps us moving, enticing us towards true happiness, and aids in its creation if it does not become the principle ingredient in our banquet (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 42-43).  

References

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.