Meaning and Gratification

Pleasure is part of happiness and learning how to increase our pleasurable experiences can aid in living a good life. Still, pleasure should be viewed as the pepper of life. It is the stuff that enhances an already meaningful existence.

By experience most of us already know this: sex without love becomes empty, wonderful food without company is mediocre, and material wealth without the ability to share it or use it for good leads to hollowness. Interestingly, though we all can think of examples of people who have lead miserable lives in the pursuit of the pleasurable and material, we still look to the icons of fame as models for our own lives. This is not a new problem.

Aristotle, one of the most important contributors to understanding happiness faced similar problems thousands of years ago. James O’Toole (2005) in his book Creating the Good Life illustrates the parallels between our society and that of Aristotle’s. “In Aristotle’s society, the accepted models of success included generals, Olympic champions, plutocrats, potentates, and powerful politicians as, today, modern media spotlight sports and entertainment figures, business moguls, and powerful politicians” (p. 56).

It is hard not to marvel at glamour and riches, but maybe we should measure life success not by toys and tantalizing treats, but by the “ultimate currency” --happiness (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p.53). In other words, maybe as we gaze in wonder at the lives on the tv screen, we should ask: “How happy are these people? What is the result of their life paths?” Not surprisingly, this line of questioning can open our eyes to the disastrous consequences of hedonism.

Hedonism is living for pleasure. It is the pursuit to tantalize the senses as much as possible and as often as possible. As mentioned before, this sole mission to experience pleasure leaves much to be desired; yet what more is there? The answer to this question lies in the quest for meaning and gratification.

Gratification and meaning are very similar to each other, though they differ greatly from pleasure (Seligman, 2002, p.111 & Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 37). Aristotle called gratification “eudaimonia.” “Eudaimonia” is the “good life,” it is total engagement with life; it is the things we do for their own sake. Seligman (2002) explains that “eudaimonia” or gratification “can only be had by activity consonant with noble purpose”(p.112). In other words “eudaimonia,” in Aristotle’s notion is engaging in activities that are “intrinsically meaningful,” absorbing, and aimed at a higher purpose (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 40).

We all have experienced the feeling of gratification or “eudaimonia.” This experience is often described by athletes, or even yourself at work, as “being in the zone.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1997) has described this sense of “being in the zone,” as “flow”(p.28-9). Csikszentmihalyi (1997) describes the phenomenon in this way:

Because of the total demand on psychic energy, a person in flow is completely focused. There is no space in consciousness for distracting thoughts, irrelevant feelings. Self-consciousness disappears, yet one feels stronger than usual. The sense of time is distorted: hours seem to pass by in minutes. When a person’s entire being is stretched in the full functioning of the body and mind, whatever one does becomes worth doing for its own sake, living becomes it’s own justification. (p.31-32)

Therefore, “flow” is characterized by the absence of the sense of self, time, and emotion. Also, it is achieved by extreme focus and total engagement in an activity.

Though flow is necessary for achieving gratification, once again by itself it does not create gratification. For example, while on the basketball court I have often experienced flow. The sense that time stopped, that my playing became automatic and amplified beyond my own abilities. While this was somewhat gratifying it was not a fully gratifying experience because the purpose or meaning I derive from playing ball is limited.

In order to achieve higher levels of gratification we must not only be fully engaged in flow producing activities, but in flow producing activities that are laden with meaning. These meaningful experiences directed at something larger than ourselves create purpose. Ben-Shahar (2007) notes “To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that posses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society’s standards and expectations. When we do experience this sense of purpose, we often feel as though we have found our calling” (p.39). Thus, to achieve complete gratification we must engage in flow producing activities that are aligned with our own personally meaningful objectives or callings.

For instance, the person who finds flow in teaching others may find complete gratification in being a teacher if molding young minds, for example, is a purposeful calling. Moreover, an Olympic ice skater who finds flow in skating and training to skate may achieve gratification if they see there sport as a “higher calling” to inspire others and represent their country. In both cases the flow experience is in alignment with a higher purpose or calling. The higher purpose or calling being defined as something that contributes to changing the world at least in small ways as perceived by the individual. Therefore, finding flow and building those activities around a calling or a higher purpose results in gratification. 

References:

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life. Basic Books. 

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.

O’Toole, James (2005). Creating the good life: applying aristotle’s wisdom to find meaning and happiness. Holtzbrinck.