Meaning and Gratification

Pleasure is part of happiness and learning how to increase our pleasurable experiences can aid in living a good life. Still, pleasure should be viewed as the pepper of life. It is the stuff that enhances an already meaningful existence.

By experience most of us already know this: sex without love becomes empty, wonderful food without company is mediocre, and material wealth without the ability to share it or use it for good leads to hollowness. Interestingly, though we all can think of examples of people who have lead miserable lives in the pursuit of the pleasurable and material, we still look to the icons of fame as models for our own lives. This is not a new problem.

Aristotle, one of the most important contributors to understanding happiness faced similar problems thousands of years ago. James O’Toole (2005) in his book Creating the Good Life illustrates the parallels between our society and that of Aristotle’s. “In Aristotle’s society, the accepted models of success included generals, Olympic champions, plutocrats, potentates, and powerful politicians as, today, modern media spotlight sports and entertainment figures, business moguls, and powerful politicians” (p. 56).

It is hard not to marvel at glamour and riches, but maybe we should measure life success not by toys and tantalizing treats, but by the “ultimate currency” --happiness (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p.53). In other words, maybe as we gaze in wonder at the lives on the tv screen, we should ask: “How happy are these people? What is the result of their life paths?” Not surprisingly, this line of questioning can open our eyes to the disastrous consequences of hedonism.

Hedonism is living for pleasure. It is the pursuit to tantalize the senses as much as possible and as often as possible. As mentioned before, this sole mission to experience pleasure leaves much to be desired; yet what more is there? The answer to this question lies in the quest for meaning and gratification.

Gratification and meaning are very similar to each other, though they differ greatly from pleasure (Seligman, 2002, p.111 & Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 37). Aristotle called gratification “eudaimonia.” “Eudaimonia” is the “good life,” it is total engagement with life; it is the things we do for their own sake. Seligman (2002) explains that “eudaimonia” or gratification “can only be had by activity consonant with noble purpose”(p.112). In other words “eudaimonia,” in Aristotle’s notion is engaging in activities that are “intrinsically meaningful,” absorbing, and aimed at a higher purpose (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 40).

We all have experienced the feeling of gratification or “eudaimonia.” This experience is often described by athletes, or even yourself at work, as “being in the zone.” Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1997) has described this sense of “being in the zone,” as “flow”(p.28-9). Csikszentmihalyi (1997) describes the phenomenon in this way:

Because of the total demand on psychic energy, a person in flow is completely focused. There is no space in consciousness for distracting thoughts, irrelevant feelings. Self-consciousness disappears, yet one feels stronger than usual. The sense of time is distorted: hours seem to pass by in minutes. When a person’s entire being is stretched in the full functioning of the body and mind, whatever one does becomes worth doing for its own sake, living becomes it’s own justification. (p.31-32)

Therefore, “flow” is characterized by the absence of the sense of self, time, and emotion. Also, it is achieved by extreme focus and total engagement in an activity.

Though flow is necessary for achieving gratification, once again by itself it does not create gratification. For example, while on the basketball court I have often experienced flow. The sense that time stopped, that my playing became automatic and amplified beyond my own abilities. While this was somewhat gratifying it was not a fully gratifying experience because the purpose or meaning I derive from playing ball is limited.

In order to achieve higher levels of gratification we must not only be fully engaged in flow producing activities, but in flow producing activities that are laden with meaning. These meaningful experiences directed at something larger than ourselves create purpose. Ben-Shahar (2007) notes “To live a meaningful life, we must have a self-generated purpose that posses personal significance rather than one that is dictated by society’s standards and expectations. When we do experience this sense of purpose, we often feel as though we have found our calling” (p.39). Thus, to achieve complete gratification we must engage in flow producing activities that are aligned with our own personally meaningful objectives or callings.

For instance, the person who finds flow in teaching others may find complete gratification in being a teacher if molding young minds, for example, is a purposeful calling. Moreover, an Olympic ice skater who finds flow in skating and training to skate may achieve gratification if they see there sport as a “higher calling” to inspire others and represent their country. In both cases the flow experience is in alignment with a higher purpose or calling. The higher purpose or calling being defined as something that contributes to changing the world at least in small ways as perceived by the individual. Therefore, finding flow and building those activities around a calling or a higher purpose results in gratification. 

References:

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1997). Finding flow: the psychology of engagement with everyday life. Basic Books. 

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.

O’Toole, James (2005). Creating the good life: applying aristotle’s wisdom to find meaning and happiness. Holtzbrinck.

What is Happiness?

Pleasure

The media with all its daily noise tell us that happiness is one thing, when in our innermost hearts we know it is something quite different. Even though at some level we know that there is a better way to happiness we all often fall into the pitfalls of the latest fad, product, or chase.

           

Maybe you have experienced the let down from chasing something that you thought would make you happy? We all have. The question is not why we experience these let downs, but rather how to avoid them in the first place.

           

In Lewis Carrol’s psychedelic classic “Alice’s Adventures in Wonder Land” Alice reaches a fork in the road on her journey. Alice, not knowing which way to go asks the Chester Cat his advice. “Which road do I take?” He replies by asking, “Where do you want to go?” “I don't know,” Alice answered. To her angst the cat offers little help “Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.” Like Alice, we are all too often busy heading towards happiness without even having any ideas what it is.

           

The problem of course with figuring out what happiness consists of, is that it takes enormous effort to define. Fortunately we don’t have to start from scratch, both ancient and modern thinkers have been debating the definition of happiness since time immemorial. Many of the major philosophers and all of the major religions have made contributions to what we know about happiness. Though the idea of happiness is complex and often deeply personal, I believe there are common threads of wisdom that can be applied in our lives that can help us understand what happiness is and is not.

           

First, it may be useful to make the distinction between pleasure and gratification (Seligman, 2002, p.111). Pleasure is the domain of the senses, and we all know it when we experience it. It is the taste of cheesy pizza, the smell of sweet jasmine, the touch of a lover, or the sound of your favorite song on the radio. Pleasure is well pleasurable, but short-lived. It flickers in and out of our lives leaving us seeking for more. This is the “happiness” that popular culture parades before us on TV, the Internet, and in popular music. The message is clear, do what feels good now. Get more stuff, more sex, and more sensuous food.

           

Unfortunately, as we have all experienced, the next pleasure fix only staves off our hunger until the next object of our desires can be found. In this way we are like perpetual joggers on a treadmill, always being feed a carrot, but never able to arrive at full and true happiness. The Father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman (2002) describes this phenomenon, called the “hedonic treadmill” in this way: “As you accumulate more material possessions and accomplishments, your expectations rise. The deeds and things you worked so hard for no longer make you happy; you need to get something even better to boost your level of happiness” (p. 49). It is this cycle that by in large makes pleasure seeking a futile attempt at gaining lasting happiness.

           

To conclude this thought I would like to add that I am not saying that pleasure is inherently evil or wrong. It is not the case that pleasure itself is the culprit of chronic life dissatisfaction, but rather the excess seeking of pleasure. Pleasure becomes a problem when it is our end goal, when it is sought after as our main course in life’s feast.

Conversely, when pleasure is viewed as the “spice of life” it can enhance our daily experiences and allow us to more fully appreciate our own existence. In other words, pleasure is necessary for our happiness, but is not happiness in and of itself. Just as good spices are necessary for a good meal, pleasure is necessary for a happy life. Pleasure keeps us moving, enticing us towards true happiness, and aids in its creation if it does not become the principle ingredient in our banquet (Ben-Shahar, 2007, p. 42-43).  

References

Ben-shahar, Tal (2007). Happier: learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. NY, McGraw-Hill.

Seligman, Martin E.P. (2002). Authentic happiness: using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. NY, Free Press.

What does Happiness Applied Mean?

I once heard a story about an American who was spending some time in Czechoslovakia. After a few days of acclimating himself, he felt like going out on a walk to explore the little village where he was staying. Strolling down the street he saw an old woman hanging clothes out to dry. Being in a cheery mood, the man exclaimed in his best Czech, “Good morning! How are you today?” To his surprise, and at length, the women began to answer his very question. Unable to understand Czech the man watched as the women moved her arms up and down while changing the tone and volume of her voice. The man walked away puzzled, unable to understand what he had said that elicited such a long response.

As Americans, we of course ask, “How are you?” out of politeness, not because we actually care. This strange cultural phenomenon has led me to reflect upon whether we should be more concerned with the question, both for ourselves and others, of: “How we are doing?” In other words, I have often found myself perplexed at how to answer the simple question “How are you?” (I mean, if I really had to answer it.)


In essence that is what this blog is about. It is about asking ourselves how we are doing, and then finding ways to improve whatever the answer happens to be. Further, it is a blog about what happiness is, and how we all can achieve it in our everyday lives. It is an ongoing, and evolving experiment, in how to lead a life that is meaningful and fulfilling.


Happiness Applied is my attempt to help myself and others apply the principles of happiness. Chances are you already know these principles; they are simple things like: spirituality, gratitude, optimism, sociality... etc. The problem arises where the rubber meets the road, the space where “know-how” becomes “doing.” If you are like me you might have found it hard to find ways to put into practice the often-nebulous counsels of: be grateful, let go of stress, or be more positive. It is my hope that through this blog I might be able to find and share Happiness Applied.